But :-/ I run my mouth more than I listen, and it always gets me into trouble. Maybe there are those that feel threaten by me and frankly, I do not care. Tell me Sam, which is more important? I am a half Greek half Russian POP singer songwriter and music producer born in Russia and based in Greece. You sound like me. Neither one of us would get very far if we pretended not to know much about our respective fields. Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 during the depths of the financial crisis as a way to make sense of chaos. People tend to take advantage of your time once you show a little bit of kindness. Immature Adults Will Display These 7 Traits and Behaviors Those kids who were too cool to study and too cool to sit still in class as they flicked spitballs from the back of the room. Nice response. I never felt the need to act dumb. PS: was point 5 just an excuse to no longer fit into your tailored/custom suits (joke). Be smart enough to stay humble. Ta-Ta, Your email address will not be published. And if you haven't eaten any humble pie yet, then hopefully you'll take my advice to heart. I always hate small talk. Pretend like you are still calculating answers like a 286 computer instead of the latest microprocessor that you are. No security person in the world wants to present their supervisor with a total idiot; best just to wave the dummy through and be rid of him. This all came to me naturally, perhaps I am dumb but I am still conscientious. Brilliant comment Edward. Watch NEWSMAX LIVE for the latest news and analysis on today's top stories, right here on Facebook. Some people are aggressive and arrogant, and that works for them, but Ive found that being a wolf in sheeps clothing is much more effective, especially for women. The smart people are usually more quiet and kind of studious. I never thought of it as acting dumb. You grew up here, any insights about know-it-all types of white males and how to deal with them? I personally know zero successful female engineer. They were all (pleasantly) surprised when she delivered the product. Had a similar piece of advice from a colleague who has been with the company for a while. People associate smiley people on the dumber end of the spectrum. Sometimes there's no point in arguing with ignorant people. Oh and another (former) friend from school always acted dumb, everyone thought she was the dumb blonde. Character Disorder: Levels of Awareness.) But when the sheets are tallied up, and work hours to profit is calculated, those are the stars. You just need to be better at being smart instead of getting better at being stupid. -- Durkin Computing store marketplace is the leading software solutions provider of act aadon and act add-on tools. Sage advice! Got it, that explanation makes a lot of sense. 99 likes. If youre too high on yourself, youll shoot yourself in the face with unreasonable expectations. I went to an OK HS and went to William & Mary, a good public school. Theres definitely a balance Mike. I tried to keep expectations low so I would surprise people with what I could accomplish as well. I hadnt thought of it in quite the way youve framed it beforethank you for these insights! Just now starting an internship in Finance, Ive just now started scooping into my humble pie. I was 7th in the list of people selected out of nearly 50k who attended across the country. Thats not stradegic thats lame. Im a new analyst at a top consulting firm and the environment is cutthroat to say the least. No longer do people want to just view ads. Paranoid Personality Disorder (4.4%) These individuals aren't just careful about home security, they are obsessed with the suspicion that others are intentionally trying to do them harm . YES! I also surround myself with people much brighter than me. Here are 6 clever comebacks that only the smartest people use. interestingly, I always get super competitive jobs that take 9 months or so to finish the application process. In response to that notion; theres a way to stay 100% mentally sharp while having a friendly, warm personality everyone loves. I recently got a promotion, and when that happens people try to solve every problem the company faces. When you walk into work and someone says how about that traffic? they dont really care about your opinion on auto congestion; they are trying to decide if they are going to make an ask or if you are going to be in a cooperative and productive mood. Be smart enough to suppress your achievements. I instinctively dress that way, and many still mistake me for young and dumb. #2 is especially true!!! Sam, you say you worked in finance, but what have you created besides elementary financial models? Thats why, in my book In Sheeps Clothing, I advise neurotics who want to empower themselves in their potential dealings with disturbed characters to judge actions, not intentions.. Plus its a big company so change takes a long time anyway. Feeding the karma basket with some goodwill and a kind word (of small talk) can pay great dividends; relationships are built over long periods and many interactions. First, when the victimizer denies malevolent intention, and appears innocent, the person confronting the problem behavior begins to feel uncomfortable in the role of unfair accuser and begins to misperceive who occupies the victimizer and victim positions. It might even defuse the argument. When an I-can't-believe-she-just-said-that moment happens, your first instinct is probably to react physically: You might . In both college and workplaces, I find my peer engineers just love bloating about the tech stuff they know and things theyve built to everyone around them. When that happens, you'll be bombarded with even more hate and jealousy. When folks start highlighting their great investment wins, I simply listen in, congratulate and smile. Anyway, I noticed my peers behaviors towards me after two months of working. "When someone isn't . Less stress and better relationships at work. Archived post. There is a Chinese proverb in regards to Still waters run deep, which resonates with Sams post. This article is the seventh in a series of posts on habitual behaviors common to individuals of disturbed character. Sign up for the private Financial Samurai newsletter! Of course I'm going to do my best to help my friends and family when they're in need, like I spent several hours helping my sister come up with a financial plan last year. If I pretend to not know the details when Im asked about them Ill appear to not be taking my job seriously. To pretend something is not happening or is not the case Id much rather talk about mycology, physics, brewing beer, the meaning of life and the likes, because its interesting to me. If the disturbed character can make you feel bad for indicting him, hes half way home to successfully conning and manipulating you. Love to know the perspective from a blonde. :) And (as I think of it now) probably hears a lot more they see. Try Online Counseling: Get Personally Matched. Then with another similar client I slipped from #3 to #5 and was admonished. When you are considered dumb, or at least not a threat, people stop looking to undermine your abilities. I would say 90% of the time I respond with a thoughtful answer. Im gonna keep my big mouth shut long enough to learn something. However, among my superiors I try to appear knowledgeable and I work hard because theyre are the ones that have the power when it comes to promotions. Besides all of the great qualities, you may have if you dont fit the part you wont get the promotion. There are those who are good at what they do, and toot their horn too often but (I think) that when they fall its a lot harder for them than if someone else falls. Its not that I think that I am better than othersok maybe sometimes I do, but it really is sad to see others who will chose to prefer mediocrity as a way of life and its not that theres anything wrong with it but it just makes it so much easier to rise to the top almost effortlessly I didnt quite understand the concept of le creme de le creme until my current boss explained to me that the top quality cream always rises to the top. But if you can get super fit and jacked, more power to you and anybody else. Why didn't I receive my test email from Act-On? Our material is not intended as a substitute for direct consultation with a qualified mental health professional. The point here, is incorporating this in a sensible manner.. which it seems you have none since youre so smart. One very important thing overlooked in this article is playing dumb to make the other person feel smart. I got recruited by a huge firm while I was still finishing my last year. 6. An anxious child may avoid going to classes that make them feel nervous. This site is great. 4) They play on your emotions. Im an 23 years old asian female engineer currently making 120k a year. Thx. users see more relevant contact details on one or multiple screens, produce automated tasks, emails and reporting plus so much more to boost and simplify your Act experience. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. 5 Toxic Arguing Techniques Narcissists Use | Psych Central I think Im a better individual contributor than I would be a team leader. I ask questions using rudimentary technical language. I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders in an I-dont-know fashion. 5 . By pretending to be in the dark about many things a new or younger person discusses with me that I know about, I'm able to reduce my arrogance andcreate a more equal relationship. Ha. Loud or quiet. Nobody can take away youre client base. The more other people know how much you know, the higher the expectations they have of you. Two of the most common of such tactics are feigning ignorance (i.e. One of the greatest rewards is being able to give back by sharing my experiences and thoughts here on FS for free. Paralytic or dumb . Though coworkers still try to make me miserable. If you've seen someone behaving very rudely or stupidly, or seen somehow acting in a brash and insulting way then pay attention! But in most cases, with just about anything in life (not limited to work), success is all about exceeding expectations. 5 Truths about What Upsets a Sociopath You ignore them They can't get what they want Their control is taken away You question their authority You catch them in a lie Final Thoughts Differences between Psychopaths and Sociopaths Psychopaths Cold and calculating Calm and measured under pressure Yeah, no doubt; Im mainly interested in how some of the biggest talkers are the ones who often seem to go the farthest. (People say Im cute/pretty, if its relevant.). Impact for Act Slim. All very very true. While others are already there without worry of being labeled dumb. I might be a bit off here from what O said, but I quite agree with their reasoning. 20:53:02. AddOns for ACT! throw/put someone off the scent phrase. So this thoroughly degrading self hating stupid guy blames hisself for his business model getting stolen rather than blame the sociopathic tosspot/s that actually stole his business model ideeyuh in the first instance. I just hope that at some point, you also get to enjoy the aesthetic privileges that wealth allows. And if there's a massive trap a friend is about to walk into, I'll definitely step up and provide some guidance. Then, acting dumb to get ahead in lifestyle is a decent strategy to consider b/c you might reach a point where you become inundated with work and absolutely unhappy with all the stress and pressure. In short, it is because I have become too smart. except your people skills will be easily detected as insincere by people you interact with who are genuine AND intelligent. Unless you are Fraser Crain, nobody speaks with words like pernicious, erudite, colloquial, nadir, vapid, boorish and so forth. OceanGate claimed that Boeing, NASA, and the University of Washington helped design the Titan. Unfortunately, my desire to help can come across as arrogant, particularly in America. Many times, when your gut is telling you that you're being taken advantage of, played for a fool, or simply being mistreated, and you confront a disordered character about it, they'll act like they have no idea what you're talking about. Impact Suite includes many enhancements to help Act! Even the loud ones despite the self promotion still show signs in their body language. Thanks for the suggestions! Please share with us your experience and story. I ended up at your website through a google search for Im dumb but I think Im smart.. I enjoy your articles but the promoted content ads are too risqu. Looking dumber is a strategic move that will minimize competition and attention on you. As a blogger since 2009, of course I know about SEO, social media, marketing, earning online income, and writingcontent. You've heard the saying, I'm going to wipe that dumb grin off his face! right? Related: The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence. "If you were paying attention" 2. If you are going to ask for a raise, or a favor, or a hand in marriage, you want to make sure of the receptiveness of the other with a little small talk. If your message failed due to a bounce, suppression, or another failure, the reason will be listed there. These steps are subjective, but if you pay careful attention to what people wear in the office, you'll understand. How to get promoted faster than them other than job hopping? I could probably do my work about 5 times faster, but then Id have to actually work on the two days a week I get to work from home. We actually know several more comp. Lets say you get to 1 million visitors a month. If Im perceived as dumb its actually smart. I also come from a culture where respecting your elders is of great importance, so I just assume that whatever I say to a younger person will be heard. But now I also know why you dont respond to my comments sometimes. I learn from not being a know it all. Theres way too much ego in people. Trouble with my boss when Im not laid off, trouble with my wife, trouble with my familyits hard to help it though when people say stuff thats stupid! But I have acted dumb on occasion. Never dress more than a half-step more than your position. In teaching, you have to relate to your students and I try not to ever talk down to them. The more you can pretend not to know as much as you do, and the more you can include other people in your successes, the better you will be. What is your entrepreneurial business and how have you made it a success? You are going to be gunned down before you know it because you are a threatening machine. But there used to be a time when I just couldn't help but brag about my achievements. Mainly income is from my Recording n Rehearsing Studio working on several projects as a producer etc.. Many people don't want mentors or teachers, they just want to be equal friends. These kids weren't just acting dumb, they really were dumb. I listen much (75-90%) more than most. But if you work at a lesser tier firm, or even a bucket shop, then just getting ranked in the top 10 was good enough. Demonstrate that you have so much vigor in your craft that people are intimidated by your presence. They take work and a whole lot of listening. Anyway, Im curious to know if youve learned any valuable lessons in the years since you first posted. Everybody dresses casually, so I fit right in. It's also about aligning compensation and expectations so you aren't miserable. If you are a nobody, people leave you alone! Part 1: A review of responses to a tension pair about whether Google 1) Argue why acting dumb is a smart move to get ahead. If you did a good job, hed know what you are capable of. Can you include me in the group you label as everybody? When you have an opportunity, youve got to really speak up and be as visible as possible. Heck, this post is over 3,000 words long. Most of the time I just act like myself. Thats not to say theres anything wrong with ambition or competitiveness! I do not agree with the theory of acting dumb to get ahead but it is interesting to hear such perspective. Wonderful article! There are three main reasons why acting dumb will help you succeed in life. 6 Clever Comebacks Smart People Say to Arrogant and Rude People A lot of boys start off as very reserved, which leads . Boredom may feel unpleasant, but it conveys an important message. I work as a project manager and so I get paid to be in the know. I love it because what you write is SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But thats the way it is sometimes. Be smart enough to realize these realities. play possum phrase. Posted October 27, 2021 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader Key points You could be very IQ-smart, yet be a poor planner, have. Looking younger doesn't necessarily mean you will appear dumber. We all have our insecurities. He dresses like a clown. Theyll automatically like you very much because you remind them of someone Themselves. Are you smart? It's enlightened anxiety. I find nothing in the world so absolutely boring as small talk. topic to do so. My best decisions are when I can get consensus because they bought into the decison. Im walking a bit of a tightrope at my current job, as I like it so much. Its only when you see them interacting with other scary smart people that you realize just how truly intelligent they are. People will naturally smile back at you and wonder why the heck are you smiling all the time because work generally sucks! If you have ever competed in sports, debates, game shows, or worked in super competitive industries such as finance, consulting, or law you know how cutthroat everybody is. DYMO Module is an addon that supports the latest version of Act!. :). Who does that, but workaholics! Now Ive realized how foolish that was. What Upsets a Sociopath? 5 Things That Make Them Furious Sound genius! Spinal cord and brain stem mostly involved. Sam, Ive been following you for over 2 years. And I know a lot of dumb people and they never EVER smile. Great article, though I have a sneaking suspicion that parts of it were intended as satire. Being underestimated by others truly is a gift. Accessed 28 Jun. If all you're doing is speaking, how do you learn anything new? I get so mad at people like that cause my IQ is actually very high like 128 so I know that I could outsmart them any second and that Im much smarter than their literal dumbass will ever be but at the same time I dont wanna break this "im so dumb and childlike pls dont get mad at me" persona. There will come a time when your time has come! As far as my boss goes, he mentioned that hes started watching people and has beem able to handle some of their concerns. The sheeple are know it alls. If you can produce the silent but deadly ones, you can blame someone else for the stench. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. You need to also learn how to convince people you're not very good at what you do to lower expectations. I'd help where I could onother things of course. If you are in any type of environment that requires others to do work for you, its best to act like their job is both important and mysterious, even if it is the most mundane thing in the world. Nonetheless, thanks for your response and keep up the good work. I wondered why the other analysts were nice to to me and then I realized that they didnt perceive me as a threat. All you gotta do is change or adjust :). :). I don't have this arrogance problem at all when I'm hanging out with older people due to my customs. I talk and ask questions about them! You can start answering the question in a round about way, until you finally zero in on the point. Your love / hate response sounds like how women view me in real life haha. Every company's marketing department should hire veteran bloggers because content marketing is huge in the internet world. Id probably hate it more if I go to another industry. You'll be so inundated with questions that you won't be able to get your own work done. Buy some shirts and pants that are one size too big. It is frustrating to email a proposal and get no response for weeks or forever multiple times. Where I need to be careful is in letting my day job cohorts in on the not-so-secret side hustle gig that I have going. But there's sometimes no amount of intelligence that can make up for a lack of experience. I never know anything off hand- always have to do reasearch. You get to be in incredible shape without it ruining your career! Became the elite few of the company in just 5 years. However, this one only works if it's something you don't mind being called. Never heard that one before. (for what I think) And it may not be appropriate for others situations as they so eloquently state, but you (IMO) are spot-on for what I consider a good reason to play dumb. Its not really the playing dumb, its allowing others to contribute and learning from what they know. And if for some reason you don't have time, or you're past your allotted work hours and don't want to help, they might developa sour opinion of you if you don't spend your remaining free time helping them out en gratis. Maybe the issue is that stupid people talk a lot, brag a lot, and give advice a lot, so when smart people do those three things (which on the face of it, seems like a good idea), they get mis-labeled as being stupid. Four of my seven person developer team were women and two of us were minorities. I know one guy that is very smart and very, very richhe is famous and his trademark is the smile. I was telling by boss about this the other day. He started hammering me about whether or not we were going to close XYZ deal that was about 1/300th the size of what we were about to look at. 4. Be smart enough to be happy with what you have. I mean, when everyone around you treats you like youre completely stupid in the end you kind of believe that you are. Its a normal for us to work for 42+ hours a week which is insane considering that software development takes almost 100% of our concentration.
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