my job is toxic but pays well

As an adult I understand that they considered the life we had a huge success compared to their own expectations and experiences. I think one of our current receptionists just always has a tab open with CNN and switches to that. However, my job works great for my family and personal life. But how do you know when your job is not just stressful but is actually toxic and is draining the life out of you? Can you look for another job that would keep you in the state retirement system, so those benefits would transfer over? By high school there arent many daytime events, and you might not even need to pick them up if they can ride the bus home and stay by themselves and then drive home. You can begin building a side hustle or consulting business in the next few years with little financial risk. Also are there other positions with Large Employer? This blog wouldnt exist if readers happiness didnt matter and Alisons only advice would be suck it up and be grateful that you have a job because there are starving children out there.. You know how many people are underutilized and bored at work with *low* pay and little time off? :), I did this when I had drifted into data and financial support. especially if my workload was so meh. Taking a pay cut in order to be happier is extremely common, and taking a minor to medium benefits cut might not be that different. In other words, the gap between what you get if you stay and what you get it if you leave is probably smaller than you might be fearing. But I do live in fear of losing my job and if I left I am not sure they would replace my position. When its truly toxic, eg bullying, sociopathic management and harassment, its too much and can harm a person and their bond with their family. tl;dr only you can make this decision, but in some ways I have been where you are and I really sympathize! Its a paycheck and health insurance and when I walk out the door at the end of the day I immediately forget everything about work until Im back the next morning. Alternately, Ive been in a position where I was expected to look busy but would have been in trouble if anyone figured out my looking busy in slow times was working on personal stuff. A similar way to think about it is to basically consider that your job essentially funds the rest of your life. Theres a lot going on here, but some is just crunching the numbers. But mentally reframing it as Im doing this meh thing for 40 hours a week because it lets the other 128 hours be awesome can sometimes really help make things a lot more bearable. What Makes A Boss Toxic An inept leader isn't necessarily . The great pay, generous vacation, incredible flexibility, and early retirement is buying a LOT of time with your kids that you probably wouldnt get in a more normal 9 to 5 style job. Every time I feel this way about my job and realize how much worse it could be and the trade-offs are worth it. A toxic job will change your idea of normal. I dont love my work (I find it tedious and uninteresting, mostly), and my organization has made it clear theyre not really going to meaningfully support our department, which is a hit to morale. Then again, we arent interested in becoming rich or anything either, so the things that make us happy arent all that impressive either. Ive been in a position where the boss explicitly told me I could craft/do homework/work on other things when they didnt have specific work for me (it was a job where a lot happened the first 30 minutes and the last 30 minutes of my shift, but the hours between were sitting at a desk, occasionally pointing someone towards the bathroom). Gimme that! Unfortunately, I was baited into a part-time job that turned out to be full time, so now I have no time for my side business and Im thinking of giving up on it, and Im pretty depressed about that. Its nice to know that things can be crazy in my personal life, but work will be easy. I had stayed in a toxic job mostly for the "good" paycheck, and now having freed myself of that situation, I know that money doesn't make a bad job worth it. Ivanka, please take Jared and the kids and go back to New York. Sometimes you can decide that youre just going to see your job as a job, that youre being paid to be there and do the work youre assigned rather than investing any more deeply than that. I was sick. Ive been in situations / employment / heck residency! You are staying because you have decided that the benefits outweigh the costs, and that calculation can change at any time. Instead youre always uneasy, on edge, or just emotionally weary. If youre thinking more about having the freedom to travel and do things like that when you retire, try to do some of them now. If it werent for the guaranteed stability and set retirement date, I dont think hed stay. Maybe you get as far as getting dressed and having breakfast, but then the thought of driving to work makes you sick to your stomach. And thats OK! Paying for insurance on the market means you will pay higher and higher rates as years go by before turning 65, and if a certain lawsuit pass, might be impossible to get if you have a pre-existing condition. update: if I quit my job when everyone else is quitting, the organization will fall apart, rude instructor comments on our food choices, husband wont wear noise-canceling headphones at home, and more, coworker is always late because she stops for coffee, my boss told me to change my ringtone, and more, updates: unhappy with changes at work, asking to unblock a website, and more. 3) Free your mind. I agree that this is almost always the case, and I hate to go wait, but sandwiches! but depending on how stellar the health insurance is it might be worth staying for. Is the work environment truly so awful that even if you tell yourself Im putting up with this so the other 2/3 of my life is awesome that youll still feel like youre being sucked dry and more worthless by the day? WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately. Or would you be helped with a higher credential? I had nothing to do at work, and it grated on me for *3* years to have a manager who wouldnt listen to me, even though I have considerable experience, education (more than that manager), and certifications (which he didnt have). OP, if I were you, I would start a job search but be picky only apply to jobs that seem like they will work well with your family situation. I totally understand your predicament. *If* you choose to stay, it looks like learning new skills with the down time would be especially helpful and maybe see if you can liaison with other depts on projects that touch on your department? Oh wow, in so many ways I could have written this my job also has great pay, decent benefits, my own office, free snacks and drinks, a catered meal once a weekbut I feel invisible and undervalued and unappreciated, Im usually the last one they think of when theres a new project to work on, my boss is a great tech manager but a horrible people manager (he actually commented on my first performance review that I came to him too much to ask for things to do), and my coworkers are mostly a bunch of man-children. Right now I range between 6-7.5, with the occasional 4 hour night, and even that seems like Im prioritizing sleep since I get up, go to work, come home and go to sleep early, and I still cant block off a full 8 hours. It enables me to have a great life outside of business hours. ), er, a butt in a chair giving directions should be a butt in a chair occasionally giving directions to people who walk in the door., Hahaha, I should tell her this description, maybe she could use it in one of her books! Do be careful about working on creative projects on company equipment many places (public and private) have clauses in the employment handbook that grant them ownership of projects done with company materials. I'm trying to tough it out because no other part time position will pay me 21$ per hour. The other aspect that Im grappling with is that my experience doing really complex, challenging work is aging. Does this drain into your family and private life? I definitely understand the need to have your skill set being utilized, and it can be incredibly demoralizing when you dont get that outlet/satisfaction. But ask your benefits office to be sure every state is different, and the rules may be different depending on when you first became a state employee, what kind of pension plan you have (if it IS a pension plan vs. a retirement account), and so on. If early retirement at 55 truly is the case, its fantastic and you could technically have a whole other career or business that begins at 55, one that youve plotted and planned and nurtured for 13 years. Few employers are going to be as laissez-faire as my first example above, but it might be worth asking colleagues how they handle it, to get a feel for the culture of whats acceptable. If you were *happy* at your job, would you be willing to work past 55 (and would this improve the multiplier on your pension payout)? It made my job a lot more tolerable to know that I was actively considering all my other options. You fantasize about retirementwhich might be decades away. Answer (1 of 5): Yes, it's the job I currently have. Instead I re-framed it as getting my excitement and enjoyment from travel, nonprofit work, concerts, books, etc. How have you dealt with a toxic but well-paying job? Politics latest: 'Late' NHS plan 'like pulling emergency ripcord I have been wanting to start looking for a new job, but I have only been in this position for over a year. What I would ask is how old are your kids? updates: coworker prayed Ill return to Jesus, the awful corporate jargon, and more. Talk about bait & switch on what the the job was described as!). I have tried to initiate new things but have not had good support due to our numerous leadership changes and the fact that folks are busy just running from one fire to another. It seems counter-intuitive, but I think feeling stuck and helpless made me feel a lot worse than I needed to. The way I approached mine was to look at any trends I could find what is my industry doing, what is my company doing inside that industry (tech manufacturing). I was previously in a management position and was hired in my current job as an administrator. I have thought about working on a blog, but wasnt sure if that was feasible to do while at work. True. I genuinely believe that I just hate the concept of selling my time away, yet having to be aware of what Im doing during that time, to boot. I get great pay and benefits, but my co-workers are just awful people to try and work with. One thing I would be worried about (as others have said) is that with at least 13 years more to go until your possible retirement, theres a lot that can happen in that time! The only positive is when there is work for me they are very large projects with very tight timeframes and there is no one else around who has the time or know how to do the work. But that saidAlison might have a real point that OPs choice might not be between soul crushing job but cushy everything else and job I like but destroying my familys financial and emotional stability. "Most of the . Do any of them have jobs you can do or you could be trained to do? Im close to both my boyfriend, and my good friends of over 10 years so my social life is lovely. Even when youre not physically ill, you may be choosing to say home as often as possible. Cookie Notice I wonder if finding a cause to volunteer for might also help you regain your sense of purpose without the need to find another job. where I was ready to pop open a beer, drop an F-bomb and slide outta there via the emergency exit slide. I dont know if you would be OP, but I think its worth at least considering if this is a reframe you can do. He worked his way up through a bunch of State agencies, did something like 9 years in private consulting, and then went back to the State to finish out his tenure. Im hazy on the details but it was the first time that she had talked to me about work-related decisions. I actually miss my last job it paid not very much, morale was low (because of all the rumbling happening in corporate), customers are always draining, the work was unbelievably boring like you, I was severely underutilized. I take all my breaks and mentally plan for something fun/meaningful to do during them. Do you need to take any steps to get there, such as getting a certification, going back to school part-time, etc.? I decided not to hate the supervisors though I truly dislike them, and I stepped even further up to do my job even better. 5. Perhaps finding a non-profit in your area to volunteer at could help reestablish that job satisfaction? Even though I loved the projects I got to run, my skills went underused a significant portion of the time between projects. Large employer, small town, unable to movethis sounds so familiar. Maybe find a hobby or side gig that can let you focus on what you do best. 1. If you're really unhappy at work, look for the following signs that your job is toxic for your mental health. I got brought up to put up with everything and I do not quit because well, I dont know how. Can your job be done from home? My response, Its 10% completely amazing tasks that you literally could not do in any other job. If I should stay in my current job, what strategies should I employ to make my work days more enjoyable and tolerable?
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